Kitty Etiquette from a cat´s point-of-view
Bathrooms:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare. You can help out by unrolling the toilet tissue for them.
Doors:
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get the door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws ... or scratch at the carpet in front of the door. Once the door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow or mosquito season in the "peg".
Chairs and Rugs:
If you have to throw-up, get to a chair quickly. If you can´t manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. if there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing-up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human´s barefoot.
Helping:
If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping".
Rules for "helping":
- When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You can´t be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
- For book readers, get in close under the chin, between the eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
- For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner, so as to obscure as much of the work as possible. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen.
- For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Xmas cards, keep in mind the aim: to help! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the 2nd time, push pens, pencils and erasers off the table, one at-a-time.
- When a human is holding the newspaper in front of them, be sure to jump at the back of the paper. Humans love to be startled.
- When a human is working at a pc, jump up on the desk, walk across the keyboard, bat at the mouse pointer on the screen and then lay in human´s lap across arms, helping with typing in progress.
Walking:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they 1st get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.
Bedtime:
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans can´t find you. Do not come out for 3 to 4 hrs under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.
One Last Thought:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face ... turn around and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don´t forget guests too!
A Joke
Friend of mine, lives on the 7th floor of an apartment, and even tho it's a fairly good neighbourhood she has been having trouble with a Peeping-Tom that lives next door...
Every time she goes out on her balcony to catch a bit of sun while wearing her bikini this peeping-tom looks over from his balcony, as soon as she removes her top, and stares at her ...
She has complained to the superintendent about this peeping-tom, but he says she must have positive proof before he can do a thing.
She FINALLY got a picture of him while he was staring at her... mouse over this link to see him
Slow Down!
Easy Now!
SMILE..................it´s catching!
Kitty Video
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